Yesterday, my husband and I went out for lunch to celebrate our anniversary. We are celebrating early this year since I am returning to work from maternity leave tomorrow.
In light of the celebration I was reflecting on our honeymoon a few years back. We had the privilege of going to New Orleans for the week. I remember we had wonderful food, saw a few sights and mostly spent quality time getting to know each other better. As a musician, my husband says he has felt a bit of regret when friends ask how much music he checked out. We went to Preservation Hall one night. We talked about in the grand scheme of things, we did something far more valuable by spending time bonding. Early love is being so entranced with one another.
That is why I call this special time with my newborn a babymoon. I have been free from work and focusing primarily on getting to know my new son well. We have been able to invest in a bond that will give him a solid foundation. And I can say this early love is evident by the entranced nature. Staring into his little dark eyes while he nurses looking back is intoxicating.
Tomorrow will in no way be easy. Only a mother can understand the feeling of being torn two directions when going to work. It feels impossible to be both good at my job and a good parent. I will do my best to provide for my baby by not only going to work, but also trying to pump milk to sustain him. The odds and challenges will be before me, as they are for many working mothers who pump.
Looking back on this time of baby-moon, I do not have regrets. My original “to do” list this time is hardly touched. The apartment is not clean. My bank account is near empty from the unpaid time. Yet, I am satisfied in knowing that I could spend this time bonding with baby and focused on that very thing. That is a gift I would not trade.